Now that the leaves have turned and the air has gotten crisp and we are launching into months of family gatherings, we are reminded that, for better or worse, we can’t choose our family. Before your closest friends scatter themselves across the country or world for various holiday celebrations, why not celebrate the family that you do choose! Here’s your guide to throwing your first Friendsgiving.

The host makes the main dish and the guests bring everything else. Whether it’s a traditional turkey, rotisserie chicken from the grocery store, or a pizza delivered from the place down the street, the host is in charge of making sure the main dish is ready to go. It’s fine to buck tradition here, but to keep the stress at a minimum; everyone else should coordinate sides, beverages and desserts.

Invite only as many people as can fit around your table. Choose your guest list carefully. It’s easy to over invest yourself. Be realistic about the size of your house or apartment. Friendsgiving is about spending quality time with your friends so even if it turns into a big dance party later make sure everyone can fit around the table for dinner.

Have a playlist ready. It doesn’t matter if you pick a premade playlist on a site like Spotify or make one yourself.  Genre doesn’t matter either, just as long as you have something you can put on to set the mood before, after or even during dinner.

Don’t sweat the decorations. This isn’t your grandmother’s dinner party. So unless you really enjoy putting together a carefully planned tablescape, just don’t sweat it. Your house doesn’t need to turn into a shrine to all things fall, nor do you need a set of gilded serving platters.

Have an activity ready for after dinner. We are not talking about a relay race or a game of kickball.  Choose something low key that anyone can do on a full stomach. Have a card game close at hand or find a project that will add a charitable twist to your evening. If you're a member click here for easy project ideas to serve your Friendsgiving with a side of charitable giving. Not a member? Learn more about joining ESA!